Guardian Angel
by Wish-Eleven
Summary: What would happen if Alice never had her vision and Edward never came back?  This is the story of Bella’s life seven years after the Cullen’s notorious move.  I do not own any of the twilight characters.
1. Whispers in the wind

_What would happen if Alice never had her vision and Edward never came back? This is the story of Bella's life seven years after the Cullen's notorious move._

(BPOV)

The sun was just beginning to rise as I turned onto the long stretch of driveway that led to the familiar white house. I had made it a point the last couple of years to come visit this hollow place on the rare sunny days in Forks because for some unknown reason, whenever the bright light of the sun hit the large windows of the house, I felt whole. Because even though I had learned to cope with the great loss in my life, I still had this ache of something missing.

I sat down on the wide front steps, next to the large metal box and pulled out the small white envelope that was in my jacket pocket. I unlocked the box and placed the envelope on the ever-growing pile of letters that sat within. It wasn't a question of whether these letters would ever receive a response because I knew that the person that they were meant for would never acknowledge my attempts to keep him informed of my life but it brought comfort to me to know that I was at least trying to keep him in my life any way I could.

I wasn't sure how long I sat on those stairs and just stared off into the horizon, thinking that no matter where they were in the world they were seeing the exact same thing. The vibration of my phone jerked me back to reality, and I didn't even need to look at my phone to know who it was. Charlie.

"_Hey dad. Yes, I'm fine, I just had a few things to get out of the way this morning. Its nothing to worry about, I will be home in twenty minutes so don't start the fun without me. Love you to dad."_ I clicked the phone shut and took a deep breath; I looked around once more at the beauty of the forest and the peaceful silence that accompanied it until the next sunny day when I would visit the Cullen's home. I walked slowly to my truck and glanced back one more time at the house when I noticed the lock on the box swinging lightly back and forth in the still air. I opened the door and slid into my truck and as I started the engine I whispered, knowing that I would still be heard, "Goodbye Edward." as I threw the car in reverse and headed home.

-----(EPOV)

She was even more beautiful than I remembered. She looked more mature and confident but yet still the same. She was still my lovely Bella. This wasn't the first time that I had seen her since my departure, but I was still stunned by her beautiful smile and big brown eyes.

As she sat down in the old stairs I wanted nothing more than to sit down next to her and never let her go again but as much as I deeply desired to hold her I knew it would only bring back more pain for the both of us. She seemed to be going about her life rather normally now, according to her letters, which I read time and time again, she had come to realize that I had loved her but just because I left doesn't mean the world ends. I was happy for her but it broke my heart to read her thoughts. Bella had gone to college and became a high school science teacher; she still lives with Charlie because after his heart surgery he needed someone there to help him around the house. She seemed to be okay now, she smiled again; she laughed more; but most importantly she learned to live again.

I watched her stare at the glowing sun and how the light danced on her face, until I heard Charlie's panicked voice on the phone.

"_Bella! Bella, are you okay? Where in god's name are you? I woke up this morning and you were gone. Alright…okay, I love you Bells."_ It was nice to hear her sweet voice again as she tried to calm Charlie out of his panic. Bella got up and made her way to the old truck, that I had tried to get her to sell countless times for a more modern car, and I took this opportunity to run and pull the new letter from the box before returning to the safety of the shadows. I noticed that she had paused before opening the door and over the loud roar of the engine I heard the soft words escape from her mouth, "Goodbye Edward." I wasn't surprised that she had noticed my presence she was always so observant of my movements and as she pulled out of the drive way I whispered a goodbye back before opening the envelope. I pulled out a small card and as I read the fine script words my hands began to shake and my chest felt like it was being torn apart.

'_You are invited to the wedding of Jacob Black and Isabella Swan . . .'_

The letter fell from my trembling hands and my knees hit the ground. I had known that it was over between us and that she had moved on but this was so final. Bella was finally shutting the door to us and opening a new one, a new one that involved Jacob Black. I picked up the invitation and noticed something scrawled on the back in Bella's messy handwriting. The words shocked me, shattering my heart once more.

'There will still always be a place in my heart for you. I will love you always Edward. ---Bella'

I placed the card and envelope back into the box and started to run towards a place I hadn't been in nearly seven years. Standing on the edge of the woods I could see people setting up chairs and tables. I took a seat on the cold, hard ground and waited for the service to begin. After all hadn't I been invited?


	2. Lullaby and goodnight

I wrote this story with no intentions of a second chapter…so tell me what you think and if I should continue.

(EPOV)

The once plain yard was transformed into a magnificent landscape, something of a lustrous beauty yet held the simple elegance that is Bella. I was taken back by the scene unfolding in front of my eyes unable to help the stabs of jealousy that ran through my stilled heart. I couldn't help but feel that should be me preparing to pledge my "undying" love to my sweet angel, my Bella. The soft rustling of grass brought me back from the growing pain that was beginning to rip through my body. Shifting toward the outer ring of trees, I was able to see the bustling movements of René, Bella's capricious mother, as she fixed the few patches of wild flowers that stood astray on the railing of the simple white gazebo.

"An outside wedding! With none other then weeds for the flowers! What she sees so appealing about all of this is a mystery to me!" Muttered René under her breath as she moved on to fix the chairs into their neatly made rows. René never saw Bella very clearly because if she had she would be able to see that this simple, pure, heaven like set up was Bella in every way imaginable. As quickly as she had come, she vanished, back into the house that was busy with the voices and movements of what sounded like a herd of wild animals. While I was alone, I decided now would be the opportune time to slip my present to Bella onto the table, already overflowing with gifts. I had gotten it for her birthday those many years ago, but due the awful chain of events I held off giving it to her. But now seemed like as good of a time as any. As cars began to pull up along the street, I once again took my cover in the darkness of the trees.

It wasn't long until all the seats were filled and the minister and groom's party took their place in front of the gazebo. I was suddenly very anxious, as I scanned over the groom's party. They were all the boys from La Push, nicely dressed in their simple black suits. They knew I was here of course, when their backs went rigid, but they took no action to remove me from the site. Probably due to the request of Bella, I didn't look into their minds to find out for sure because I knew that their thoughts would all be centered on Bella. The small crowd stood as the sweet, undeniable melody of Bella's lullaby began to play. I was shocked at first to hear the notes of the song that I had written so long ago to show my love to Bella, she must have found the CD and pictures that I left her under the floorboards. I could feel my eyes turning black by the second with every note that played, because of the fact that she had chosen something that was a symbol of our love to be played for her wedding to another man. I also felt jealousy bubbling under my skin, and the same thought running continuously through my head, that should be me up their, this should be our moment. But it wasn't. Because of me, I had ruined everything and anything that would have given me my happy ending.

The soft movement of the white gown wrapped around her legs as she made her way down the aisle. She looked stunning in her simple white gown that hugged to her heavenly shaped body; it was a dress that would have made Alice proud. And at that moment as she reached the gazebo and took the waiting hand of Jacob Black, I felt nothing. I was a hollow being, numb to the world and all that was in it. I wanted to cry but I couldn't due to the restraints that came with being a monster. I wanted to object to this matrimony but I couldn't because Bella looked happy. I felt helpless as I watched the ceremony progressed, and when it came time for him to kiss his bride, I had to turn away for fear of screaming out in complete anguish. I had lost everything. I had lost my world.


	3. Skeleton Key

(BPOV)

"We need to talk." Jacob whispered as he leaned in for the first official kiss that we would share as husband and wife. Once his warm lips left mine I stared up into his face and immediately recognized the reasoning behind his command. Edward. I didn't know what to think, was he all right; was the family all right? Did he come because he loved me or did he come to torment me? Jacob took my hand and we walk back up the isle as the crowd cheered, but my mind was elsewhere. Sure I had given him an invitation but I thought it was just a polite way of telling my ex-almost family that I was getting married. I didn't think any of them would actually come. Especially him! We finally made our way into the quiet house, and up to our rooms to change for the reception.

"Why is he here Bells? I mean this is our wedding day!" I could tell that he was starting to lose his cool, so I tried to think of the best way to explain the situation at hand.

"Well…. I invited him, not directly of course and I didn't think that he would actually come. It was more of a closure move for myself." I was trying to down play the whole scenario, if that was possible.

"You invited him? You invited your ex-boyfriend to our wedding? You invited your ex-boyfriend the vampire to our wedding? YOU invited your ex-boyfriend the VAMPIRE, who broke your heart and left you empty, to OUR wedding? What in the world were you thinking Bells?" Jacob shouted as he paced back and forth in the tiny room. Well apparently down playing the whole thing was out of the question.

I lied. Not even married ten minutes and I lied to him. It wasn't the first time that I had lied to Jake; I lied to him all the time in the beginning. When someone asked if I was all right, I lied and said I was. When Jake use to tell me he loved me, I lied and said it back. When I tried to get over Edward, I lied and said he didn't love me because I was human. "Look Jacob, I chose you. I married you. It was just something that I had to do for a bit of closure in that part of my life. I didn't think he would actually come or for that matter or ever even read the invitation." I placed my hand on his arm hoping to calm him down before things really got out of hand. "Why don't we just forget he was here, change, and go enjoy our reception." With that I left the room to go change in the bathroom.

As soon as the door was shut, I slid to the floor and my mind began to race all over again. What would he say to my wedding march? I mean it had been our lullaby. I never told Jacob that fact but all the same, would Edward be mad? I had chosen the song for the fact that it reminded me of him; it should have been our wedding. No! What am I saying! I married Jacob, I am now Isabella Marie Black and I am happy. I think…

I eventually rejoined the party, which was already in full swing, thanks to Quill and Embry. Jacob and I shared our first dance. Charlie and I had the father/daughter dance. We cut the cake, took some picture, but to the truth I couldn't remember a single detail of the whole night because my mind and eyes were to busy looking elsewhere for a glimpse of him. Once the crowd left and the yard was once again restored to its normal self, Jake and I brought the presents in to survey the lot. We received two blenders, a waffle maker, and various kitchen utensils, I took this as a sign that I would be doing a lot more cooking then I had previously been doing for Charlie. Jake retired to bed about three fourths through the pile, saying he wanted to be well rested for the plane ride tomorrow; we were going to Hawaii for our honeymoon. But I stayed, unable to rest until every item had a proper home. It wasn't until I got to the bottom of the pile that I noticed a small box, wrapped in a worn paper that had seen better days. There was no tag on the box, no congratulations or best wishes. It was just a plain box. I slowly tore the crinkled paper away and opened the soft blue velvet box, and inside sat the most magnificent silver key on a delicate silver chain. I took it out and examined it closer, noticing writing on the side. In faint script letters were the words, _The Lion and The Lamb, You Hold the Key to My Heart_. I was speechless and I felt a small twinge of pain in my chest.

I wasn't the only one who ever told a lie. And this proved it.


	4. The Fountainhead

(BPOV)

Before I could formulate a reasonable thought, I was out the door clutching the gleaming necklace tight in my hand. I was furious! How could he do this to me? I had finally got my life in order, I thought I knew what I wanted, but now I was all confused.

"I want the truth." It was all I had to say; I knew he would hear me and I knew he would know what I am talking about.

"Bella…" His velvet voice fluttered through the air, but there was something wrong in his voice. It wasn't the voice I used to know and love but it was torn and full of anguish. "It was for your own good…we were bad for you, we kept putting you in danger and I couldn't stand the thought if something happened to you because of us. And for so many years I was torn with the thought of returning to you, my angel, my heaven, but I am glad that I didn't because if I had you wouldn't be living this normal, happy life." He spoke as he walked toward me into the path of light that illuminated from the kitchen. I could feel the tears escaping my eyes and running down my cheek.

"Did you ever think that maybe…. that maybe I didn't want to be saved. That you leaving would hurt me more then anything else in this world. Every minute of every day, I wished that Jasper had gotten to me that night because being dead would have been better then losing you." I was clutching my arms around my chest trying to hold the pieces together, something I hadn't had to do in years. "You leaving only hurt me more Edward…. it shattered me." I could see these last words are what got to him, dropping his face into his hands and fell to his knees. I could hear his dry sobs, he was blaming himself, and he was killing himself inside. "Have you read them all?"

"A thousand times each." How could he do this to me? We could have been happy but he chose to stay away, he chose to let someone else take his place by my side! "I'm so sorry that I hurt you Bella, it was the last thing that I ever wanted to do." His voice was barely a whisper but I could still hear every word and the venom that it held towards himself. I got down on my knees right in front of him and removed his hands from his face. I had gone seven years only seeing his face in the worn pictures that I had found, and I didn't think I could go another second, not when he was so close. I lowered his hands, but he wouldn't let mine fall, he held them tightly in his grasp, and it was by far the best feeling that I have had in the last seven years. His cold skin on mine was like heaven and a reprieve from the hot, burning skin of Jake.

"Edward, why? Why didn't you…." It was hard to form a coherent thought with his skin touching mine, and his sweet, intoxicating breath in my face. "Why didn't you object? Why did you let me marry someone else, if you love me…. why did you give me up?" I couldn't hold my composure any more and I was about one step off hysterics.

"Because of your smile. You were smiling, and I couldn't ruin that beautiful site." His hand let go of mine, and traveled up to my cheek softly cupping it. This was like heaven and hell all at once. It was all I ever wanted but I now could never have.

"Well I hate to tell you Edward…. I am a much better actress since you left." It was true, I had to be convincing for Charlie and Jake. Jake…. what was I doing? I am married to another man, but I was happier then I have ever been here in Edward's arms. Edward was silent for some time, and I knew that he was thinking. And whenever Edward thought, it turned out worse for me.

"I'm sorry Bella, for everything. I love you more then you could ever comprehend and that will never change. Just remember what you promised me, be safe." He dropped his hands and made to stand up, and I knew that this was it; he was leaving again and this time he probably won't be coming back. I reached for his hand and stood quickly, maybe to quickly, I stumbled some and crashed right into his stone like chest. I would have given anything to stay there, but he was already starting to break away.

"You have to promise me something in return first. You have to promise to never forget me but be happy."

"I could never forget you but I could never be happy without you, but I will try. Bye Bella, I love you." He turned to leave but I pulled him around to face me first. This was something I had wanted for seven years, something Jake couldn't give me. I stood on my toes and touched his icy lips to mine; I needed to feel that electricity one more time. When I pulled away, the tears came quicker and Edward turned and ran as fast as he could. I just stood in the yard, holding myself together and crying. When I had no more tears to cry, I slid the silver chain around my neck, closing the small clasp and returning back into the house to my room where my husband laid sound asleep.


	5. I so hate consequences

(EPOV)

For the first time ever, I prayed that I would just die when Bella's soft, warm skin touched mine. The pain that was coming from my chest was excruciating, a thousand times worse then even the three-day transformation period. I prayed to God to just strike me down and take me out of this cruel world, and out of the sweet touch of Bella.

"Why didn't you object? Why did you let me marry someone else, if you love me…. why did you give me up?" Bella's face was now covered with tears and anguish, and this tugged at my dead heart even more, to see such a precious thing in so much pain killed me. I had not objected because I was not willing to re-enter her life. I was not willing to destroy her existence and the very thing that I worked so hard over the past seven years to maintain, her soul. But I couldn't tell her that, it would crush her to know that even her love was not enough to bring me back. So I thought back to the horrible images of the wedding and one thing that stood out in all the pictures was her smile. I'll make her believe that she is truly happier without me.

"Because of your smile. You were smiling, and I couldn't ruin that beautiful site." My hand traveled to cup the soft skin of her cheek, and I felt the burning sensation that ran through my body every time my skin had contact with hers. I tried to force a smile but nothing came. It was killing me, letting her go again but necessary. Pain streaked across her face, and she became very still. I thought that maybe she was beginning to let go and realize that she was happier with that dog. But her words caught me and pushed me over the edge.

"Well I hate to tell you Edward…. I am a much better actress since you left." Her eyes, her large warm brown eyes were cold and distant. And in that moment even though I couldn't read her thoughts, I saw images of her lying and becoming an unemotional being…like me. I had corrupted my Bella, something I tried so hard to avoid for all these years but still succeed in doing. I had to leave. I couldn't stand to see my beautiful angel broken any longer.

"I'm sorry Bella, for everything. I love you more then you could ever comprehend and that will never change. Just remember what you promised me, be safe." Short and to the point. Nothing that she could argue with, and nothing she could say to make me stay. I stood quickly to leave before I completely began to crumble with the weight of despair. But she followed crashing into my chest and it felt so nice to have her body against mine. We fit together so well…. no! I couldn't think like that, I had to leave. I pushed her away, but she held on tight. Did I truly deserve this punishment for being the monster that I am?

"You have to promise me something in return first. You have to promise to never forget me but be happy." Forget her? How could I forget the angel that graced my life with her presence? How could I forget the one person that truly completed me? I could never forget my sweet Bella, but I could also never be happy without her by my side. I was torn in two, damn an angel or suffer the pain of being alone.

"I could never forget you but I could never be happy without you, but I will try. Bye Bella, I love you." I had to get out of here, before I changed my mind and ruined her life forever. But as I turned to leave, she grabbed my arm and pressed her soft lips to mine. I felt the electricity course through me and remembered how much I craved her sweet touch and kisses. When her lips left mine I turned and ran into the woods, but I didn't get farther then ten feet in when I fell to the ground and began to sob tearless cries. What had I done? Why had I returned? How could I ever go on with my existence without my Bella? I could still clearly see Bella in the yard, holding her self together in the middle and crying tears of loss and pain. I watched her until she was dry of all tears and as she clasped the necklace that she held clutched in her hand around her neck. She would never give up…she would never let go as long as I walked this earth. I knew what I had to do, but it could wait till tomorrow, tonight I would listen to the soft breathing of Bella as she slept next to her new life and this would give me all the reason and courage to do what I had to do next.


	6. Goodbye tonight

(BPOV)

When I woke up I found an empty bed, and as I rolled over to check the bright red numbers on the clock I noticed it was only five thirty. Even the few hours of sleep I did manage to get were restless with the thoughts of Edward and the pained look in his eyes, so I knew it would be near impossible to fall back asleep. So I got up and wrapped myself in the light blue robe that laid across the back of my rocking chair, and made my way down to the kitchen for some coffee. I only had to get half way down the stairs when I heard it, the shouting. It wasn't top of the lungs, free falling screaming, but more of an aggravated, whispered shout.

"What the hell are you doing here leech? You don't know what you are doing to her, you don't understand all the problems that you bring." I went to the small kitchen window and got a view of Jake towering over a hunched over Edward. This didn't look the Edward that I use to know and love, he looked timid…. broken. "I want you off my property right this instant, and if you ever set a foot within a hundred miles of Bella, I will tear you to shreds with pleasure."

"No worries, I was just leaving anyways. I just wanted to say goodbye. I love her Black, so I needed to say goodbye." Edward looked up into Jake's anger filled eyes, standing his ground. His act of rebellion against Jake's strong hold on him was making my heart flutter. "So goodbye…. Black family." His black eyes turned to meet my eyes through the window, but the action was to quick for Jake to take notice. Edward turned and ran once again out of my life.

Jake stormed back into the house right pass me and up to the bathroom, when I heard the door slam and the water start to run. I on the other hand sank to the floor and began to sob once again. I never dreamed that I would be crying this much after my wedding, I was supposed to be happy and cheerful. But I guess that happy storybook ending was never in my future. Once my tears were dried, I went up to our room and waited for Jake to exit the bathroom.

"So are you excited? I mean Hawaii! And just the two of us." I said as Jake entered the room and I snaked my arms around his waist. He seemed to loosen up a bit as I did this, which in turn made me a little more relaxed.

"The plane leaves at nine, so you might want to get a move on it since we have to drive to Port Angeles." He made a turn leaving the cage of my arms to finish packing. With in the hour's time we were on the road and silence coated the car. But this suited me because it allowed my mind to wander to thoughts of Edward, and the sweet kiss that we had shared. We pulled up to the airport and unloaded the car; once we had gotten through security and found our gate, we had about an hour to kill before we started to board, so I pulled out Pride and Prejudice and became deeply absorbed into Elizabeth's and Mr. Darcy's love affair.

"We will now begin boarding flight 96 to Honolulu, Hawaii." Said the cheery voice of the stewardess. We made our way down the tunnel and onto the plane when I remembered that I left my book on the table when I got up to get my jacket.

"Jake, I forgot my book, don't let them leave without me." A quick peck on his cheek I got up and made my way off the plane, first asking if it was all right to leave. I ran to the small table where I left my book and I noticed a small red rose and letter sitting on top of it. On the outside of the letter in neat script handwriting were the words, _Gate 54, With Love. _"Excuse me," I stopped the stewardess before re-boarding the plane, "where is the plane at gate 54 heading?" The stewardess gave me a strange look, as if it wasn't a common question.

"Gate 54 is going to Italy."


	7. I'm leaving on a jet plane

(EPOV)

"So goodbye…. Black family." I looked up and met a pair of distant brown eyes that looked devastated. I ran. I ran until I reached the meadow and collapsed in the middle. I couldn't move; I was numb. I had just closed the most important chapter in my life, the one that only ever really mattered to me. Pulling out the small silver phone from my pocket, I called Alice. Knowing that she had already seen what I was about to do, and knowing that she would try to stop me.

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen! You cannot do this to your family! I don't care what you are feeling right now; it will pass. Not totally but it will get better!" Alice was becoming hysterical on the phone and I could hear the concerned voices of Carlisle and Esme in the background.

"Alice, can you put the phone on speaker?" I waited for the click of the phone and the sound of the voices to rise. "Thank-you. Listen I am going to make this quick, I love all of you because you are my family, but there will always be a hole in my heart where Bella was meant to be and I can't live the rest of my existence with this hole, its killing me. So I am going to Italy, and pray that I was wrong all those years about having a soul. I don't want any of you feeling sad for me, this is my choice, and even if I came back to you all, I wouldn't be living. So this is my goodbye, and remember that I love you all." Before any response could be formulated I shut the phone, and made my way to the airport to catch the first plane to Italy.

Only a few more hours of misery I kept telling myself. Only a few more hours until I can rid myself of this pain. I was sitting at the airport bookstore, just staring off into space so that my mind could not devise a conceivable image of Bella, when the sweetest scent hit me. Lavender with a hint of strawberry. I look up to see Bella and Jacob making their way to the gate that would take them to their honeymoon. The thought made me sick because I should be the one sharing these moments with Bella, not Jacob Black. She seemed sad and distant as she walked by and I searched the dog's mind for the answer.

_'See what he has done to her! Zombie again and right before our honeymoon! Damn leech!'_ Intense images followed of a younger Bella in a coma like state walking around and alone. I shook my head trying to erase the images that are forever burned into mind, and I began to contemplate whether I should tell Bella what I was planning on doing. I couldn't go up to her and talk to her without the dog knowing, so I composed a letter. Reiterating again the fact that I will always love her, telling her about the family, and where she can always find me. I sealed the envelope and wrote on the back, _Gate 54 With Love. _

I saw them get up from their seats and begin boarding the flight. I had no idea of how to give her the letter, until I saw her precious copy of Pride and Prejudice sitting on the table. Once the two were out of site, I ran and place the note on top of her book. But it looked cold and distant just lying there, so I went and grabbed a red rose off of the café's table. I stood there looking at the flower and note on top of the novel, part of me wanted to stay there until she came out for the book but I lost all courage to follow thru when I saw her coming back down the hallway. I hid behind the adjoining wall, watching her pick up the book and flower with a confused look on her face.

"Excuse me," she stopped the boarding stewardess, "where is the plane at gate 54 heading?"

"Gate 54 is going to Italy." Bella stood there motionless. "Sorry Ms, but are you on this flight? Because we need to finish boarding." The stewardess motioned to the doorway. Bella still didn't move, as if deciding whether or not to get on the plane with Jake to Hawaii or to run and see if she could catch another flight… Get on the plane Bella! I wanted to shout, and in a strange way, even though no words were said, she looked in my direction nodded then turned around and boarded the flight to Honolulu, Hawaii.

_**Only one more chapter to go! I promise the last will be the longest yet, because I will rap up the fateful lives of our characters. Please review, because I like to know what you all think! Thanks, Wish-Eleven.**_


	8. Even if saving you sends me to heaven

_Dear Bella,_

_This is my last plea to let you know how much I love you, and even though by the time you read this it will be to late to stop my actions, I just wanted you to know how much you truly meant to me. Alice and the family already know my plan, so don't try to get a hold of them to stop me, because we have all made our choices and this is mine. I now only wish I could turn back time and stop this whole mess from happening in the first place, stop your pain and tears. I don't want you to worry about my decision and me, I will be fine, but I do ask you not to cry over my lost. Live your life Bella like I always dreamed you would, be happy, and be safe._

I will always love you, my angel 

_Edward_

_P.S. You know in your heart where to find me if you need me, but if you get lost always ask Alice._

I had read that letter millions of times, to the point where the paper looked as if it could rip with the slightest movement. It was something I could always turn to when times got hard because it was comforting to know that someone had once cared so much. After I boarded the plane with Jake, our lives took off. We were married for 35 years, had two children Alice and Samuel, and lived a normal life in Forks. We no longer worried about werewolves or vampires because after the Cullens left Jake and his crew was the last line of wolves in La Push. We had a good life but there always lingered a pain in my heart that could never be filled. And it wasn't until Jacob's death, almost a year ago due to a heart attack that I began to fully acknowledge the hole in my chest again.

"Mom, we're back!" I heard Alice shout from the bottom of the stairs. She had taken her own daughter to visit Jacob's grave. I made my way downstairs and noticed a look of annoyance on her face. "Mom, when was the last time you visited dad? Because there wasn't even dead flowers lying on his stone, it was empty." Alice was always so close to her father and a few years before Jacob's death, we got into an argument and I had let Edward's name slip, so from then on she believed that I had never truly loved Jacob. But I had, in a different way then Edward of course, more of a friendship then a true love. "Seriously Mom, its kind of pathetic. The way you board yourself up in this house. Look, I was going to take Anna to the park, do you want to come and get some fresh air?" She looked so much like me that it pained me that could have been me for all eternity, young and beautiful. But now I was old and wrinkled, something that would disgust even Edward, no matter what he had said.

"No thank you Alice. But you are right; I think I need some fresh air. I am just going to go on a short walk, no worries I will be fine on my own." The truth was that I hated to have people around, even my children and grandchildren. I was a horrible person but a lifetime of heartache and loss had made me this way. Alice just nodded and took Anna's hand leading her back out of the house. Once she was out of sight I put on my own jacket and grabbed the keys to my old truck. I would have loved to rub it into Edward's face that this old thing still ran, but I couldn't. I made my way to the place where the road ended and the path into the deep green forest began. It was going to take hours to make my way through the woods, but deep in my heart I knew it was something I had to do.

By the time I made it to the small clearing the sun was being to set, but I wasn't scared because I had always been told that twilight was the safest part of the day, and that comforted me. As I looked around the clearing I noticed a small metal box sitting in the middle. It was similar to the one I had used to put letters in to Edward, but it was also different, it was more beautiful and delicate looking. Sitting down in front of the small box, I pulled it forward into my lap and tried to open it. But it was locked. I began to cry because for a second I thought I was so close again to Edward but that feeling was shattered. As I hugged the box close to my chest to try and hold back the gapping hole, I noticed familiar script handwriting, _You Hold the Key to My Heart._ The necklace! I pulled it off from around my neck where it had sat since the day of my wedding, whenever Jake had asked about it I said it was from Charlie. The small key fit into the hole, and I was about to lift the lid open when I became unsure of my movements. A sharp pain ran through my body and as quickly as it had come it left. This feeling was becoming a habit for the past few weeks, but I ignored it and moved on. Inside the box, laid a small strip of paper only holding three small words, _Carlisle was right._ The sky had turned completely black by the time I let go of the paper and my eyes stopped the water works. I knew I would not be able to find my way home again tonight so I laid my head on the soft pile of flowers and tried to sleep, the sharp pain returned thought right before I closed my eyes and drifted into a peaceful sleep.

I opened my eyes and I didn't know where I was, it wasn't the meadow that I had fallen asleep in but a large white area, completely blank, except for one still body standing in the corner.

"I knew you would live a long, happy life." Said the man, as he made his way towards me. He offered his hand and pulled me to my feet, but when I glanced down at our hands I noticed mine were no longer wrinkled but young and soft looking. As if he knew what I was thinking, he motioned to a mirror that was on the wall, and as I stared at the reflection I couldn't believe my eyes, it was me only the seventeen year old version of me. I glanced back at the man; he seemed happy, and he had a joyful glint in his eye.

"It may have been long but it wasn't happy…Edward." At the sound of his name he gathered me in his arms, and whispered in my ear.

"Good thing we get a second chance then, and this time it is for eternity." And with this he kissed me, with no reservations and I felt whole in the arms of my guardian angel.

Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

"When I see your smile  
Tears run down my face I can't replace  
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out

How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul  
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one  
I will never let you fall   
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven  
It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.  
Seasons are changing  
And waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one  
I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven  
Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away  
Cuz I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away,   
Please tell me you'll stay, stay  
Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill  
And I know I'll be ok  
Though my skies are turning gray  
I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven"


	9. Outtake 1

**BETWEEN CHAPTERS 7 AND 8!**

**I WAS GOING THROUGH THE ORIGINAL JOURNAL IN WHICH I WROTE THIS STORY (…YES ALL MY STORIES ARE HAND WRITTEN BEFORE THEY ARE TYPED AND POSTED…) AND I FOUND "OUTTAKES" FROM THIS STORY. ORIGINALLY I HAD PLANNED ON THREE EXTRA CHAPTERS IN THE STORY TO HELP SHOW WHAT HAPPENS BETWEEN THE HONEYMOON AND THE FINAL SCENE. SO I DECIDED TO POST THEM….HOPE YOU ENJOY. **

--

My heart stopped and I wasn't sure if I would ever regain feeling in my body as my system shut down and were numb at the stewardess's words. Yet I still turned and started heading down the narrow hallway that would seal my fate. I didn't get far before I crumpled to the ground in tearful sobs. I had made a mistake. I had chosen wrong. It should have been Edward and I all these years or nothing at all. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed a number that would be forever engrained in my mind no matter how many years passed. After a series of everlasting rings the line went quiet except for the shallow breathing of the person on the other line.

"Don't do this. Don't leave me again. Please." My voice was barely above a whisper but even I knew he could hear the pain resonating from my shaky voice. I tried to keep back the tears but I was failing miserably.

"Bella it has always been my fault that we will never be together. It was my own selfishness that was our downfall and because of that I am going to eliminate all our problems. I am not going to lie and say it will stop that aching in your chest but you will have a chance at a normal life. Be happy, have children and live a long life full of adventure. And as you celebrate all these times in your life know that I will be there watching over you." Even now Edward could make the saddest moment in my life sound poetic, making my heart ache for him even more.

"But I chose wrong. I want you Edward to come and sweep me off my feet like you use to and take me far away breaking all the speed limits…just come and get me and stop this pain." I could hear his tearless sobs over the phone and it led me to hope that he would save me from this hell and take me to a heaven where the two of us could be together.

"I can't Bella." He said his voice so sullen that it killed me a little more inside.

"You always told me that you could not deny me. That my wish was your command and I want you to come and get me. I want you to kiss me like never before. I want you to take me somewhere where no one would find us. I want you." There was a stern demand in my voice, one that said my loyalty and need towards him. It was silent on the line for what felt like eternity until I heard a sigh and I thought my victory was within reach.

"Jacob." Was all he said but I could tell that it was his way of denying me of the very things I needed without actually saying no. "Bella I am sorry but it's time for me to go…" I cut him off before he could finish.

"Then I will go to. I will follow right after you." It was what he always promised me so why couldn't I uphold the same promise.



"NO BELLA!" He said with a new found anger in his voice. "Listen to me, Jacob, your husband, is waiting for you on that plane and I want you to stand up and dry your tears for me and forget me."

"I could never forget you Edward, I love you." My final plea to my angel.

"And I love you Bella; I always will but your life wasn't meant to be this complicated. I have lived a long…existence threw which I found the one thing that completed me, you. So I need you now to do the same, live a long life and find the one thing that truly completes you."

"But I have found it already. You are the one person that completes me Edward. I love you more than anyone or anything."

"And for that I shall go on as a happy man, knowing that you still love me but it's time for me to go. I love you Isabella Marie Black." Then the phone went dead bringing on a whole new wave of tears.

I am not sure how I made it back to me seat on the plane. But as I sat there next to a stoic shell of Jake and staring blankly at the head in front of me I remembered the envelope that was now crunched in my hand from gripping it so tightly. The one thing I had left of my former happiness. The one thing I would treasure forever.

**OKAY SO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS DELETED SCENE AND REVIEW.**

**BE PATIENT FOR THE NEXT TWO…IT TAKES ME AWHILE SOMETIMES TO TRANSCRIBE THEM TO THE COMPUTER FROM MY JOURNALS. ALSO BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR A SPECIAL DELETED SCENE FROM THE COVETTED JACOB'S POINT OF VIEW.**

**THANKS FOR READING – WISH-ELEVEN**


	10. Outtake 2

How I wish the last words that I could have said to her were endearing and passionate ones but I know if I had said anything else then I would have given into her wishes and gone running back to her. As much as I know my words hurt her they cut even deeper into me. My head sank into my hands as my chest heaved with no tears. Lately I had wished more and more for the ability to show my true emotions of headache and torment to the world, maybe then they would learn to leave me alone.

"Sir, can I get anything for you, anything at all. You can even come to the back just to see our wide selection of merchandise." The stewardess said as she leaned over my seat, allowing full access to her breast. I turned and looked the young woman in the eyes allowing all the contempt that I held for myself to filter through my black irises. I didn't want to be bothered anymore, I just wanted to be alone in my thoughts of self hate and the task that I had ahead.

She backed away slowly, bumping into the other stewardess on her way back and I pulled out my own guilty indulgence. The only thing I had left that could bring peace to my soul. It was a small video camera that Alice had gotten the summer after our junior year; I opened the viewing screen, plugged in my ear phones and pressed play. The sweetest sound filled my ears as I heard Bella laugh as the screen displayed images of us dancing around crazily in my room unbeknown to the camera that was recording the event from the doorway. Bella had never known about these videos, they were meant to be part of her birthday present but it was just another thing that I didn't think was appropriate to give after the events of the evening. The scene changed to Bella and me lying on my bed as I hummed her lullaby and she slept soundly in my arms. Her chest rose evenly as she began to mumble and snuggle into my chest. "I love you Edward." She sighed and I kissed her forehead before repeating the words back to her.

"You two look in love." I turned to the old woman sitting next to me. She had to be nearing her late 70's and she reeked of old perfume as she leaned over the arm rest and watched the video from over my shoulder. "So young but that right there is true love."

"Yeah it was." I replied, mumbling under my breath which came out more as a grumble.

"You mean it's over? Honey, a love like that you can't let slip away. I mean the way she watched you as you danced around all care free…well it seemed liked she was in awe of you."

"Yeah well she is currently on her honeymoon with her new husband." As soon as I said this I felt a slap on my arm. The old woman had hit me with her purse.

"I know I don't know either of you but I've got a strong feeling it was you who gave her up and not the other way around. Young kids today don't know what s good for them anymore." She was right. I didn't know what had been best for me and I had ruined the best thing in my life. But I was going to fix it I was going to make it all better. I didn't respond to the old woman but just returned to my video watching it over and over again until the pilot announced until that we were getting ready to land that I was once again pulled from my thoughts.

As I made my way from the airport I saw the old woman once more look in my direction and shake her grey haired head before getting in a taxi. She just reassured me what I was doing was right and I made my way to the plaza in the center of Volterra but not before making a spot with an old friend on the outskirts of town.

"Edward? Edward Cullen? Is that you?" I nodded my head as I entered the small cottage home of Viktor Vellum, who had known Carlisle in his early years. "Well my boy, what brings you by here? I haven't talked to my dear friend in years so I know this is not purely a social call."

"No I have a favor to ask you, I need someone to send this package to the Black family in Forks, Washington. However I don't want it sent for 60 years, so I cannot entrust to the postal service and I am afraid my family would not obey my wishes and they would interfere. So I need someone who does not know the situation and I thought of you Viktor." I kept a straight face the whole time, not betraying a single emotion the whole time.

"Of course Edward, I would be happy to do this old friend but I need to know something first. Why so long before it is mailed?"

"Because it is an explanation for the future generation. I am afraid that I must cut this visit short now; I am running late for appointment. Thank you for doing this for me Viktor, it means the world to me."

After shaking hands and handing over the parchment I made my way into the city that would seal my fate forever.


End file.
